


Rainy Day

by HitachiinTwiins



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Gen, Light Angst, Rain, Swearing, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, a LOT of rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HitachiinTwiins/pseuds/HitachiinTwiins
Summary: On a storm day, Virgil was feeling so good that he decided to go for a walk, of course, he didn't say anything to anyone, since he wasn't expecting to be a problem.Or: Virgil spaces outs, goes for a walk, Roman, Logan, and Patton get sick worried because they can't find him. Remus doesn't care as far he is back, and Janus just wants him to come back or use a dammit umbrella.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 45





	Rainy Day

**Author's Note:**

> On a rainy day I had this idea, and won't leave me out so... I thought why not?

He could hear, other than his music blasting through his headphones, the sound of cars passing in water puddles, the water descending by a pipe, he could hear the small droplets against his window, the wind making the window cause noises because of the speed. Weird enough those were calming sounds.

Obviously, he didn't like the thunder when he wasn't looking, but he could appreciate it if he is sitting at the window looking at the rain. After all, the light of thunder is quicker than the sound, so he won't feel scared when he is watching. A calming feeling, a sense of cold but not the bad one, he could just stay under his blankets hearing those sounds and... Appreciate it.

As he put down his phone and headphone on his bed table. Curling in a small ball under the pile of blankets, maybe he should just go outside? Cold weather isn't something he often can appreciate, and it would be nicer to have rain falling over his body. A small smile, as he got up from his bed; the others were all busy so it's not they would miss him right now. He just needs to make sure to be back before dinner is ready, right?

With that in mind, he put on his boots, skinny distressed jeans, his old black and grey jacket mostly because he didn't want to attract attention, but at the same time, he does worry about the weather damaging his purple patched one. Pulling up his hoodie, he got his phone and went outside. Because of the rain, no one would notice him walking around, heck! If they didn't recognize Remy, why should he care about him?! 

The feel of the droplets touching his face, the droplets slowly wetting his clothes, he didn't mind it. He was happy with the overwhelming feeling of the calm and solitude that the rains bring him. The slowly building up weigh as his clothes start to get wet. Looking at the gray sky, the street lights turned on a bit more early so it wouldn't be dark.

Like anytime that it's raining, Virgil felt so... Good. His thoughts for once far back in his mind, nothing to worry about, nothing to be cautious about. He knows that it's his work been anxious about everything, self-aware of everything but... Once in a while... It was good to feel the opposite.

Sadly, his thoughts were back to reality as he picks up his phone. It was vibrating a few minutes ago, but now it was getting more insistent. Insistent from Janus and the same type of messages.

Deceit: Virgil. GET. OUT. OF. THE. RAIN!

"Fuck" He murmured before laughing, he found it funny, how now that Deceit was better accepted between the traits, he was back in mamma mod with him.

Daddy: Virge, I tried to knock on your door? Are you okay?  
Daddy: Virge, please answer me!  
Daddy: Oh... You're not in your room...  
Daddy: Sorry for getting inside your room without consent.  
Daddy: Wait...  
Daddy: WHERE ARE YOU?!  
Daddy: ARE YOU OKAY?!  
Daddy: VIRGIL WHERE ARE YOU?!

"Why he needed me?" He thought as he sighed at that as he looked at the rest of the messages, it seems he was wrong when he thought that he would just be called at dinner.

Logic: Patton is really worried about you. Where are you? He is yelling and asking everyone. Can you answer me at least?  
Prince: Hey hot topic, where are you? Padre is yelling and is freaking out...   
Prince: That is it! We are going to ask De--- Janus.   
Rat: You know, mama is really worried, can you get out of the fucking rain?! Also, the light trio is here asking where the fucking you're. Dee is lying, although I don't understand why.   
Rat: Can you just get the fuck back home bitch?

"Thaaaaaaaaaaat is weird." He thought again as he looks at the sky, it has been a lovely walk around, he was feeling a bit cold from his wet clothes, but he didn't mind, not at all. Closing his eyes as he let the rain pour over him before his anxiety kicked in and wash over that feeling of calm he opened his eyes to send a message again.

Emo: hey rat, can you tell Jan that I will be back in like... 1 hour or so?  
Rat: WHAT?! NO! Those three are annoying as hell right now!  
Emo: well... can't care less. im okay. just tell them im okay  
Rat: They don't believe it.  
Emo: sucks for them and you. ill be back in 1 hour or so.  
Emo: oh, says that im fine and when im back i will explain  
Rat: Uuuuuuurgh... Fine! Only because it's been years since you were this careless. Don't make it a habit!  
Emo: okay  
Rat: Enjoy.

With that, he pockets his phone again, starting to walking aimlessly around the street, it's been so long since the last rain, sure it does rain sometimes, but it does need specific things happening to mess with him like that. 

Mess up his senses and mind, although he felt angst, sad and even depressed, it did him feel calm, relief and hopeful, he wasn't sure about what or why, but he could care less about it. Also, that was something he doesn't understand, he could care less about everything in that mood.

Like whenever is raining, in that specific mood set, he felt free, free of his anxiety, free of whatever paranoia, free of his thoughts. Just the sound of the rain, the cars passing over the water puddles, the steps on the water, the droplets on the umbrella, the smell of rain. Three of his senses were all around the rain, but it was marvelous and messed up more with him, when his last two senses were as well, sights and hearing since it started thundering around.

He couldn't help, he felt relaxed and he wanted to enjoy it as much as possible, and like all the times that he was that messed up, we went to a park, sitting on a swing, he did lose the passage of time. Although his phone soon was going to start vibrating again.

Deceit: VIRGIL ANXIETY SANDERS! GET BACK TO HOME NOW!

He let out a long laugh, he was alone in the park so he didn't care about it, Janus was back in full mama mod, and honestly? He was going to get scolded a lot about it. But he couldn't seem to care right now.

Prince: Virge, padre is really worried. Can you return?  
Prince: Like, Remus told us you would be back in 1 hour or so, but it is already dinner.  
Emo: you can say to Patton, to join with Janus  
Prince: YOU'RE ALIVE!  
Prince: What that even mean?  
Emo sent a picture.  
Emo: dont tell Janus tho  
Prince: Okay... WOW! He is like padre!  
Emo: yeah... he is been sending messages since i left  
Prince: But really Virge. Come back.  
Emo: fine... im on my way back...  
Emo: the catch is... it will take more... 30 minutes or 1 hour  
Prince: WHAT?!?!  
Emo: im really... far away right now  
Prince: Just make your way back!  
Emo: okay okay... your brother is texting wait a minute

Rat: Mama is mad and angry and worried, you're fucked up if you get sick.  
Emo: say for him to join with Patton  
Rat: Oh yeah, that daddy is also worried sick, although less angry and mad.  
Emo: yeap. im on my home. 30 minutes or 1 hour  
Rat: Fuck! You got really far, huh?  
Emo: i would be even far if it wasn't Dee sending so many messages and calling me my full name  
Rat: Stormcloud, better you hurry up. I can hear Dee and Patton saying they are going to the real world to find you.  
Emo: okay okay... now NERD is texting... wait a minute

Logic: I presume that Roman, Remus, Janus, and Patton already did their worried text?  
Emo: yes...?  
Logic: So I should be more direct. Why are you out in the rain?  
Emo: rain numbs my anxiety...   
Logic: That... Doesn't make sense.  
Emo: no logic can explain it.  
Emo: just... it numbs, totally, i don't feel anxious, i don't feel bad, i don't care... i feel calm...  
Logic: Huh. That is curious.  
Emo: so... i just enjoy it... i thought that you guys won't call me till dinner.  
Logic: Well... You see Patton went to check on Thomas. And Thomas was really... Really... Calm. Patton panicked and thought you had ducked out, although it was weird because Thomas wasn't like with the symptoms of you disappearing.  
Logic: The reason for worry was because Thomas was lazy all the time today, to a point where Patton was checking for him to eat and things like that. So Patton called me, to figure out if something was wrong. We couldn't find why. So we tried to summon you but you didn't show up, we went to your room, but you weren't there and it just...  
Emo: you all jumped to a conclusion  
Emo: come on... a little faith?!  
Logic: I apologize.  
Emo: im on my way back, i will be in 30 minutes or 1 hour  
Logic: You were far away huh?  
Emo: yes, please when im back i want you all to be in the real-world okay?  
Emo: even Janus and Remus  
Logic: For what?  
Emo: because i want to discuss this "jumped conclusion" and explain a few things  
Logic: Sure. I will tell them.  
Emo: thanks, now im going back.

He took a deep breath, passing his hand over his face, he didn't wear makeup, since he knew it would be pointless, as he gets ups and returns to his home. In the middle of his walk, he got lost in thought and feelings again, to a point that when he got home he had glassy purple eyes, getting inside he could see the six already there, where he just looked to himself, he was wet and dripping from all his time on the rain.

He was also wearing his old jacket, something he didn't do since he was accepted, and that probably freaked out them more than anything as he looks at them. But that was enough to snap him back from his dazed mind.

"Thanks for been here." He said sarcastic, he changed his clothes with a snap, so it wasn't dripping or wet anymore, it was more like his normal clothes for now. His purple patched jacket, his sneakers instead of boots, and now he picked up things to do his make up, while he sat on the stairs as normal. "Let's get over it shall we?" He said while applying his makeup.

"Virgil, why..." Thomas tried to say something but he was lost.

He was totally back in been anxiety when he applied his makeup. "Why you're so calm?" A nod as he looks to his host. "I'm calm now. Normally when it rains my anxiety gets numb when things are like today, that is more a storm with thunder, wind, and the heavy rain I just get... More numb."

"That is true, but since normally doesn't rain that much it is rare for him to do that." Remus said as he looked at Janus who was storming.

"Told you for fucking sake at least use a dammit umbrella!" Janus was angry and mad. "Also you should get a warm bath, take some soup or drink something warm!"

"Why is Janus so...?" Thomas didn't know how to vocalize those thoughts as he looks to the yellow side.

"Janus was and is, the mother figure for most of The Others? Well not all of them, because a few are jerks, the ones who weren't, Dee was the mother. Like Patton is the Daddy for Roman and Logan" Virgil shrugged as he looked between Thomas and Deceit. "Relax, I will do it soon. Also, umbrellas take half of the purpose!"

"Please don't start arguing you both... Jan I know you're worried, but Vee doesn't give you a shit when it's storming. Vee, I know that okay? Just focus on explaining the things?" Remus put his hand between the two sides who were nearly starting to argue.

"Okay." "Fine." Both pouted but did stop as Logan and Patton were still impressed, not used to this new... Thing. Roman on the other hand was the first one to ask. "So... When it's raining your anxiety gets numbs, storms make you more numb if that is possible, and you just... Fall in a sense of calm?"

"Yeah, something like that... I just feel free and can't care about anything... I fell calm, extremely relaxed, and self-aware, but needed to say, Thomas can't have anything on the day that happens. After all, taking care of Thomas is a top priority and thus I won't be able to relax. On that note, since the day Logan calmed me and Thomas with those five sensory exercises, I realized, that in the rain it's like... A real version of that?" Virgil answered while looking at Logan.

"Oh... I guess since you're the mental representation of anxiety, you need something more grounding than just breathing exercises, or other ground exercises to fully calm down and relax. Like the full five senses working on something instead of just exercises. Oh... That is interesting." Logan was truly surprised about it.

"So... Why I never noticed it?" Thomas asked curiously as he looks around.

"Because... I'm normally back in a spawn of time, like 1 hour or 30 minutes. I don't always go that far, like today. But... Today my mind got really blank and numb, and I didn't notice my phone at all. That is why everyone texted me and was worried. Also, when I go for a walk, I normally end up noticing how long I'm out but today was... Off." He felt bad for worrying them but at the same time, he was feeling calm and relaxed, which was really weird for him. "What I'm mean is... I'm sorry for worrying you guys... I will not do that again..."

"No!" Patton surprised everyone when he exclaimed. "No! You don't need to stop doing it! If it's something that does you well then you shouldn't stop it! You were so happy and calm when you got here, that I was surprised. But I can see it does you very well."

"I have to agree. It's not something bad or some type of disease, it does seem that it's good for you to relax and for Thomas to have a nice and relaxed day to self-care. I can rearrange his schedule when it's raining so you both can enjoy it. I also, find it quite enjoyable to read while raining so it can be a day for all of us doing some relaxing. Instead of working." Logan was next in change that. "I apologize for us jumping in a conclusion."

"The reason for us been worried is just because we didn't understand what was happening or where you went. Now that we know, and the effects of it we can work with it. If you want, I can let you know whenever is raining in my side of imagination, so you can go there. Not sure if have the same effect, but we can work on something for at least have half of the effect?" Roman was really happy to know that something other than just breath and grounding exercises could help Virgil to feel calmer, so he was the first to jump thinking of ways to help.

Janus and Remus were quiet while looking at Virgil. "I'm sorry Virgil. I shouldn't let my job interfere and be so... Demanding with you. I knew you felt calm and good, but I really worry when you got outside without an umbrella, or just doesn't pick up messages. If you could just work on one of those?" Janus tried as he wasn't sure. "So at least I could worry a bit lest."

"Hm... Why don't Remus come out with me when it happens? He is someone you can rely on texting you back, he can also stalk me without triggering too much, and he sometimes even let me enjoy my solitude although most of the time he will talk a lot. It would be a win-win for everyone. Although I hate the idea of been stalked..." Anxiety let out a small sigh. "But I can't really do any of those Jan... The feeling of rain falling on me is what makes it special. And I get really distracted so I can't really answer a text."

Everyone fell in silence, they didn't know how to deal with that, but surprisingly it was Remus who spoke. "So, how about it, I don't need to stalk you or whatever. I can configure a GPS thing on your phone, you just click a button when you go out, and it will go to Dee and Patton, and they will know your location. And we will just need to rely on that. It's not too invasive, neither is repressing you or creeping you. I won't need to follow you and all."

"Oooh... That sounds like a nice idea." Thomas said while yawning. "Can I nap... The rain really is making me sleep..."

Virgil looked at them and they nodded. "I need to shower and put on some more... Comfortable clothes. So I will go." Without waiting he was back at commons, and soon he was heading to his room, soon he was in the shower, taking a lot of time on there. Even wishing he had a bathtub like Roman or Patton, but he didn't.

After half an hour he was back at the commons, now using pants and still on his hoodie, more relaxed and calm as he goes to the kitchen, finding Patton and Janus. "Kiddo!" As morality noticed him, he saluted with two fingers before sitting down. "Thought in eat and drink something before going back to bed."

"Good, I did some soup and Patton did the food, and we have hot choco. Is that good?" Deceit asked although he was already separating things for Virgil.

"It's fine. Again, sorry for worrying you, mama." As now Virgil wasn't around Remus and Roman he didn't mind in be a bit more... Open. "And daddy."

Both of them got surprised as he looked at Virgil, who was now fidgeting with his jacket's sleeves and looking down. "It's okay Kiddo. We understand and as we said, it isn't something bad." Patton was the first to answer as he heats the meal in the microwave.

"I thought... I would never hear you call me that again..." Janus was shocked as he looked at the anxious side. "But Patton is right, everything will be alright now and apologizes accepted."

"I told you... I was a jerk because I was scared... And I'm sorry about that, but... I'm trying okay? It's not perfect, I sure will close up if my anxiety gets worse but... I'm trying..." He trails off as he looks anywhere but for them.

"It's fine, we know that, I know that, and Remus, well he is just Remus so... I bet he is happy to have his brother back, just, please... Stop him, instead of helping him." Janus smiled as he teases.

"I can't promise anything... Some of Remus's ideas are too good to just... Stop him." He teased back but soon turned in a more serious. "Thank you, you two. I'm not sure what I would be if I didn't have both of you." He smiled softly at that.

"Well, we still have a lot to work on, arguments will happen but... this can be a good family. We will work together instead of separated." Patton smiled as he places the meal in front of Virgil.

"We are all trying Virgil, and that is what matters. Now eat. Before Remus and Roman find you and want to drag you." Janus pointed as he knows one of the twins, and sure enough that could happen.

"Just to ask... Why were you in your old jacket? That kinda bothered me, Logan and Roman..." Patton asked a bit embarrassed.

"Well... I don't like to wash this jacket too much, I get scared it will be torn out. Purple does get too much attention when you're walking around the city. And last old habits, it's just... Normal for me use that jacket when walking outside in the rain. I did that a lot when I was with The Others. So habits." 

"Oh... That is not a problem, I can explain that to them later." Morality was thoughtful for a few minutes before he answered. "Oh, do you like the taste of the rain?"

"Yes. Although I don't walk with my mouth open to get it." Chuckles filled the kitchen as Virgil started to eat, the vague sound of rain, the vague sound of droplets on windows. The weather slowly clearing up, but he was still calm, relaxed, and comfortable. Maybe it does have other things that can calm him down like rain, he just needs to find out, although he has a small suspect that a warm meal done by his two "parents" was one small way of getting that feeling.

Maybe... If he can find more small ways of getting that feeling, he could feel like that more times, but for now? He would just enjoy this little warmth.

**Author's Note:**

> Although this fic isn't perfect in my eyes, it does have a big warm spot in my heart. It can be a messy and unclear text in some parts, but... It truly was warm for me... Really I liked to type this one.


End file.
